This month, lunch is on me :)
Thứ Tư, 16 tháng 5, 2018
Most adults have a dark secret...
At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, and that this makes it very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth”.
Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. He goes home and as he is greeted by his mother, he says , “I know the whole truth”.
His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father”.
Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to come home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth”.
The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother”.
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next morning when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.”
The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, smiles and says :
“Really!? Then come give your real Daddy a big hug!”
Thứ Ba, 15 tháng 5, 2018
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bedtime.
A father is listening to his daughter say her prayers before bedtime.
Daughter: God bless mommy and god bless daddy and god bless grandma and... goodbye grandpa.
Dad: why did you say that?
Daughter: I don't know, I just felt like saying it.
The next day, grandpa drops dead. Wow, thinks dad, that's an odd coincidence.
A month later at bedtime, the daughter says: God bless mommy and daddy. And goodbye grandma.
Sure enough, the next day grandma breathes her last earthly breath.
The Dad realizes this is more than a coincidence, but he is not sure what to do. He doesn't want to disturb his wife by telling her (Grandma and grandpa were her parents).
Months go by and one night the man is listening to his daughter saying her prayers at bedtime: God bless mommy....(she turns her head and looks straight at him) and goodbye daddy.
Dad: What!? are you sure honey?
She nods. The man's heart begins racing and he breaks out in a sweat. He is so upset, he can't sleep at all that night.
The next day he goes off to work, but locks himself in his office. He takes the phone off the hook, cancels all his meetings and awaits the inevitable.
He stays at work past 5 because he feels secure there. He watches the hours tick by. Finally it is midnight and, drenched in sweat, he realizes he has cheated death. He drives home drenched in sweat and with all his nerves frazzled.
His wife is up and waiting for him: Where the hell were you today??!
He replies: Don't shout, I've had an absolutely miserable day.
His wife then says: You had a miserable day? I'm the one who had a miserable day! First, the milkman drops dead on the steps...
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