Try missing a couple of payments.
Thứ Năm, 24 tháng 5, 2018
My girlfriend wanted a favor from me
Her: I want you to kill my ex and make it seem like an accident
Me: Say no more
LATER
Detective: It looks like the killer used a crowbar to beat him to death and then placed a banana peel by his feet
I asked my boss if I could have time off work because I was having a baby
When I came back the boss asked “So was it a boy or a girl?”
I said “I don’t know, I’ll tell you in 9 months”
A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership.
Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. "Amazing," he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this," and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival. Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go." The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a State trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."
"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
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