Doctors described his condition as stable.
Thứ Hai, 23 tháng 7, 2018
A guy looking for a fight...
A guy looking for a fight walks into a biker bar and shouts, "Donald Trump is an asshole."
The biggest guys in the bar gets in his face and warns him, "You better watch what you say around here."
"Why? Are you a Trump supporter?"
"No, I'm an asshole."
Chủ Nhật, 22 tháng 7, 2018
On his 25th wedding anniversary, a man asks his wife if she ever cheated on him
"I've cheated on you three times" she says.
"When was the first?" he asks
"Well, remember 20 years ago when you wanted to start your business but no bank would give you a loan, then miraculously one bank did? It was no miracle. I fucked the bank manager."
The husband said "Well, if it weren't for that, I'd have no business. I think it was a worthy cause. When was the second time?"
"Remember when you were framed for murder and no lawyer would take your case, and then one miraculously did and got you aquitted? It was no miracle, I fucked the lawyer."
"Well, if it weren't for that, I'd be in jail. Thank you. When was the third time?"
"Remember when you wanted to be the president of the golf association but you were 52 votes short?"
A man wearing a ski mask and carrying a gun bursts through the door of a bank
"Go to the back and give me everything you've got!" the man says.
The woman replies, "Sir, this is a mistake, this is a SPERM bank."
"I don't give a shit, you go get me what I told you!"
The woman goes to the back and comes out carrying a tray full of sperm samples.
"Open one of those samples!"
The woman takes the lid off a sample.
"DRINK ONE!"
"Excuse me? You want me to drink it?"
"Yeah, drink it now!"
The woman, frightened, picks up the sample and drinks it down. The man then removes his ski mask and says:
"You see you can do it Wendy, you just don't want to."
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