As i handed my dad his 55th birthday card he started screaming...

Son, why did you buy me 55 birthday cards?!

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US farms are going bankrupt at an alarming rate. Trump’s trade war is partially to blame.

US farms are going bankrupt at an alarming rate. Trump’s trade war is partially to blame.
More than 80 farms in the upper Midwest have recently filed for bankruptcy. Trump's trade war is partially to blame.

November 28, 2018 at 08:20AM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2QkJU6m

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I can cut a piece of wood in half just by LOOKING AT IT.

It’s true. I saw it with my own eyes.

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Met a homeless man with a sign that said "One Dollar for a Dirty Joke"

Seemed like a good investment to me so I gladly handed over a dollar.

Homeless man: "All right sir, what's your name?"
Me: "John."

Homeless man: "So John, there is black rooster alright? How many legs does that chicken have?"
Me: "Two?"

Homeless man: "Right, now how many wings this black rooster got?"
Me: "Two?"

Homeless man: "Right, now how many eyes this black rooster got?"
Me: "Two?"

Homeless man: "Right again, now look at that white cat walking around - how many hairs are on that white cat?"
Me: "I don't know. A lot?"

Homeless man: "Well John, how do you know so much about black cock so little about white pussy?"

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I made a computer program read 100 jokes from this subreddit, then made it tell a joke based on those. Here's what it said.

Why did you make me read the same thing 100 times?

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If having sex for money makes you a whore...

Then does having sex for free make you a non-profit whoreganisation?

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Roses are red,

My screen is blue, I think I deleted system32.

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