"No, this is her husband."
Thứ Năm, 20 tháng 12, 2018
Carolyn, a rich blonde, buys a new automatic Jaguar XKR Sport. She drives the car perfectly well during the day, but at night, the car just won't move at all...
After trying to drive the car at night for a week (but without any luck), she furiously calls the Jaguar dealers and they send out a technician to her.
The technician examines the car and finds nothing wrong with it.
So he turns to the blonde and asks, "Ma'am, are you sure you are using the right gears?"
Full of anger, the blonde replies, "How on earth you could ask such a question!? I'm not stupid you know! Of course I am using the right gears; I use D during the day and N at night."
A man walks into a store to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter. "How much is that Barbie in the window?" he asks the shop assistant.
In a manner, she responds, "Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95 and Divorced Barbie for $395.00."
The guy asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others?"
"That's obvious!" the assistant states. "Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture..."
Amazon Prime Is Getting Worse, And It's Making Me Question The Nature Of Reality
Amazon Prime Is Getting Worse, And It's Making Me Question The Nature Of Reality
Amazon is gaslighting us with the false promise of two-day shipping.
December 20, 2018 at 12:10AM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2EwlNv2
Was 12, living with abusive aunt and uncle
We lived on an old farm. No animals, just fields.
Uncle goes to the market to buy a horse, ends up spending more than expected because it's bred from some old bloke's prized stallion.
Although expensive, aunt loves it. Because it's all muddy she calls it "Dirty". She was a fucked up like that.
They told me, "If we ever catch you riding our fucking horse then we will beat the living shit out of you."
They'd done it before so I knew they meant it.
Days later, I'm messing in the fields with some old tractor tire I found. Dirty is just eating grass and shit next to me.
Auntie and uncle come out every few minutes to make sure I'm not riding the horse.
Get bored. Climb inside the tire.
Tire starts moving (field wasn't flat).
Can't stop.
Auntie and uncle come outside to check on me
They see me rollin'
They hatin'
Patrolling
Trying to catch me riding Dirty
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