An old man and woman had been married for 30 years. In those 30 years, the woman had always insisted on the lights being off when they had sex as she was embarrassed. The man was thankful for this really as he was embarrassed too and scared that he couldn’t please her.

so in the dark he always used a big dildo on her. After all these years of sex, she still had no idea that’s what he did. One day, she decided that they’d been together so long that there was no reason to be embarrassed even though her body was now old. So in the middle of sex she reached over and turned the bedside lamp on, only to see that her husband was using a dildo.

She said angrily, “I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!”

The man replied, “Ok, but first – explain the kids!”

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What I Learned From Eating Only Meat For A Month

What I Learned From Eating Only Meat For A Month
This fall I joined the ranks of Shawn Baker's all-meat cult for 30 days. Here's what happened.

January 22, 2019 at 11:07PM
via Digg http://bit.ly/2WaoVDh

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The man who created autocorrect has died.

Restaurant in peace.

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My girlfriend broke up with me. So i took her wheel chair.

Guess who came crawling back.

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A man goes to the doctor for a physical. He tells the doctor not to be alarmed, but he has 5 penises.

The doctor says, " 5 penises!? How do your pants fit?"

The man replies, " like a glove."

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People who talk to their dogs are just plain stupid...

Saw a couple today talking to their husky. Intelligent dog, don't get me wrong, but do they seriously think he understands everything he is told? I came home and told my cat all about it, we laughed our asses off!

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Why will Congress never impeach Trump?

Because Republicans always insist on carrying a baby to full term.

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