An old man and woman had been married for 30 years. In those 30 years, the woman had always insisted on the lights being off when they had sex as she was embarrassed. The man was thankful for this really as he was embarrassed too and scared that he couldn’t please her.

so in the dark he always used a big dildo on her. After all these years of sex, she still had no idea that’s what he did. One day, she decided that they’d been together so long that there was no reason to be embarrassed even though her body was now old. So in the middle of sex she reached over and turned the bedside lamp on, only to see that her husband was using a dildo.

She said angrily, “I knew it, asshole, explain the dildo!”

The man replied, “Ok, but first – explain the kids!”