A woman wants her vaginal lips reduced in size

A woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were flapping in the breeze. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the surgery be kept a secret and the surgeon agreed.

Awakening from the anesthesia after the surgery she found three roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.

Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor. "I thought I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"

The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and that the first rose was from him: "I felt sad because you went through this all by yourself."

"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and empathized because she had had the same procedure done some time ago."

"And what about the third rose?" she asked.

"Oh, that rose is from a man upstairs in the burn unit. He wanted to thank you for his new ears."

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Over 10k members! Come see reposts in real time!

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How Major Newspapers Covered The Michael Cohen Hearing

How Major Newspapers Covered The Michael Cohen Hearing
​It was a huge news day yesterday. Here's how the front pages of major newspapers covered it.

February 28, 2019 at 08:56PM
via Digg https://ift.tt/2IInbyB

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If I had a Delorean

I’d probably only drive it from time to time...

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Heard about the man who painted his scrotum?

Pretty nuts

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Two priests go into the shower

In the shower they notice that their are no soap.

One of them says "Il go to my room and bring 2 soap bars" runs naked to the room, grabs 2 bars of soap and when he was running back...

3 nuns show up, first thing he remembers to do "freezes like a statue"..

Nuns look at the statue and say "Such a beautiful figure, perfectly shaped"

One of them, looking to the priest's "toy soldier" decides do pull it....

The priest's reaction to the enormous pain makes him drop one of the soap bars

The nun concludes then, that it is no statue.... It actually is a soap machine!!

The second nun happily does exactly the same and the priest drops the second bar of soap!

The third nun pulls it once.... Nothing... Pulls it twice..... Nothing.... Pulls it thrice.... Nothing... Pulls it again and again and again.... And finnaly marveled she says:

"Lord be praised... It also gives shower gel!!"

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Once I saw a man on a bridge about to jump

I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What denomination?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

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