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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Bảy, 23 tháng 3, 2019

Two American journalists are in London.

Two American journalists are in London attending a press convention. That evening they are in the bar chatting to fellow UK journalists when the subject of how headlines are written came up. The UK journo's commented that the Headlines in America are far too long. They need to be much shorter, and to the the point.

"Interesting", said the American journ'o, "can you give us an example?"

"Well", said the UK guy, "take this crime that happened yesterday, a mental patient escapes from the local funny farm, enters a laundry, rapes one of the washer women and runs off. What headline would you use?"

The two thought for a moment and said." Maniac sexually assaults laundry worker and escapes".

"See," Says the UK guy, "too long".

"what's your headline then?", said the American.

The UK guy smiles and said, "Nut screws washer and bolts".

"What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?"

A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit..."

Thứ Sáu, 22 tháng 3, 2019

I've never really understood it why would you become an Islamic suicide bomber on the off-chance you might get 72 virgins when you die.

Become a Catholic priest and get them now.

I went trick or treating as Gandhi and kept all of my candy in a hat

And when someone tried to take the candy from my hat i told them "My hat my candy"

A train ploughs into the side of a catholic girls school bus.

A train ploughs into the side of a Catholic girls school bus, killing them all. At the gates of heaven, st Peter asks the girls "have any of you ever touched a penis?"

The first girl, Paula, shyly says "I once touched the head of a penis with the tip of my finger." St Peter says "Okay, dip your finger into the holy water, and you may pass through the gate."

The second girl, Kelly, says "I once fondled with one..." st Peter replies "alright, dip your whole hand in the holy water and pass through the gate."

All of a sudden there is a commotion amongst the group and one of the girls pushes her way to the front. St Peter says "Jennifer! what's the rush?"

The girl replies "if I'm going to have to gargle that water I want to do it before Tammy sticks her ass in it!"

Courtesy of my seven year-old son: What do cows call their clothes?

Moo

What’s the toughest thing about being a vegan?

Apparently, keeping it to yourself.