FunnyStory about animals and all around the world
Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)
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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
The third-grade teacher was teaching English and repeated for her class:
"Mary had a little lamb,
Whose fleece was white as snow,
And everywhere that Mary went,
The lamb was sure to go."
She explained this was an example of poetry, but could be changed to prose by changing the last line from "the lamb was sure to go" to "the lamb went with her."
A few days later, she asked for an example of poetry or prose. Johnny stood up and said,
"Mary had a little pig, An ornery little runt,
He stuck his nose in Mary's clothes
And smelled her little . . ."
He stopped, turned to the teacher, and asked, "Do you want poetry or prose?"
"Prose!" the teacher said. "Prose!"
So Johnny said, " . . . Asshole."
They are both wearing suits, carrying briefcases, and both of them have a black eye.
Wondering what the odds of their circumstances are, they start up a conversation
Man #1: “Hey buddy, kinda funny that we’re both dressed for business, flying first class, and we both have black eyes. How’d you get yours?”
Man #2: “Well it’s funny you should ask, it was a funny slip of the tongue that got me my black eye. I was in line buying tickets for this flight and the woman behind the counter had enormous breasts. So instead of saying ‘two tickets to Pittsburgh’ I said ‘two pickets to Tittsburgh’ and she punched me right in the eye.”
Man #1: “No way! I also got my black eye from a slip of the tongue! I was having breakfast with my wife this morning and what I meant to say was ‘honey can you pass the Cheerios?’ but what I actually said was ‘you ruined my life you fucking bitch’.”
The young family’s 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day observing the workers. Eventually the construction crew, all of them “gems-in-the-rough” more or less, had adopted her as a kind of project mascot.
They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars.
The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take her ten dollars “pay” she’d received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age.
The little girl proudly replied: “I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us.”
“Oh my goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week, too?”
The little girl replied, “I will if those lazy assholes from Lowe’s ever deliver the goddamn drywall.”