Funny Story

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Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.

Thứ Ba, 4 tháng 6, 2019

My doctor told me to start killing people

Well, his exact words were "you need to start eliminating the stress in your life".

Whatever, same thing.

Did you hear about the thief that preferred robbing criminals and babysitters?

He cleaned out every crook and nanny.

What's the differnce between Donald Trump and an iPad?

Trick question, you shouldn't compare apples and oranges.

'It's A Miracle': Helsinki's Radical Solution To Homelessness


'It's A Miracle': Helsinki's Radical Solution To Homelessness
Finland is the only EU country where homelessness is falling. Its secret? Giving people homes as soon as they need them — unconditionally.

June 3, 2019 at 08:12PM
via Digg http://bit.ly/2QIGI1X

My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one.

It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”

3 men are arrested...

Three men; a Russian, a swede, and a German have been arrested, and they've all been given a 6 month sentence.

Their warden however, is friendly and grants them all a 6 month supply of anything they want.

Upon hearing this, the Russian man jumps up in joy,

"I'll have some vodka!"

the German man isn't quite as excited, but he's still visibly happy,

"I will take zom beer, danke"

The swede scratches his non existant beard for a moment, before rising up,

"of course, I'll need cigarettes!"

The warden writes everything down, and brings the men everything they requested, before locking the men in their cells.

With something that they all enjoy, the six months pass by quite quickly for them.

........

Upon their release day, the German man, being punctual, is the first one to wake up an yelling over to the warden, soon walking out of his cell with his last beer in hand.

The Russian man isn't too demanding, as he gets out of his cell dancing trepak.

The swede, upon getting out of his cell, lets out a deep sigh as he look towards his friends,

"either of you got a light?"

What do you call a musician without a girlfriend?

Homeless.