Twenty years from now, kids are gonna think "Baby it's cold outside" is really weird, and we're gonna have to explain that it has to be understood as a product of its time.

You see, it used to get cold outside

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Do you know where I can rent a church singing group?

Sir,do you mean a choir?

Fine,yes,do you know how much it is to aquire a church singing group?

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A boy has a question about God

Sorry if this has been posted before. I just heard it and I’ve never seen it on here before.

There was a boy that had a question about God. He goes to his local priest to see if he has an answer. The boy presents the question and the priest is completely at a loss of words. The question is so challenging that he could not give an answer. Unwilling to let the boy go unsatisfied without an answer, the priest takes the boy to a local bishop that knows even more about religion than the priest

The boy approaches the bishop and asks him the same question. Again, the bishop has no answer that will satisfy any of the parties. Seeing that the boy is getting discouraged that no one can answer the question the bishop sends the boy directly to the Vatican to talk to the pope.

This pope was very popular among the people. And he knew everything. He was so smart they called him Pope The Wise. The boy walks up to the pope and asks him the question. The pope begins to answer but then gets choked up and realized that not even he has the answer for the question.

As all hope was just about to be lost, an old nun walks into the room. The nun asks the boy to ask her this famous question and the boy does. The nun formulates the most perfect answer to the boys question. Almost everyone rejoices and all is good.

Except the pope looks a little upset. He exclaims “This is impossible! Explain to me how a simple nun could be smarter than me! Pope The Wise!”

But she was Nun The Wiser

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I know a lot of jokes about unemployed people

But none of them work

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What do you call an alligator that's really good with directions?

A navigator Fucking terrifying

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What happened to the lost cattle?

Nobody's herd.

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Two whales are swimming in the ocean when the come upon a whaling ship.

The one whales looks to the other and says "HEY, thats the ship that killed my brother!"

The other whale says "What do you wanna do?"

The first whales says, "Alright, here's the plan; were gonna go to the surface fill our lungs full of air and go right underneath the boat and blow as hard as we can! Our air will flip the boat and all the men will fall in the water and drown!"

Second whale says "Okay, lets do it".

So they get their lungs full, they dive down beneath the boats hidden from the whalers. They blow as hard as they can and flip the boat with literal ease.

The whales swim back and watch as the men struggle to survive.

The first whale looks to the second and says "Man, they really aren't drowning like I wanted them to, we've got to do something!"

Second whale says, "Okay, what would you like to do?"

First whale says, "Lets eat them!"

Second whale stops him and says "Whoa, whoa, whoa, I agreed to the blow job, but i'm not swallowing the seamen."

Love this joke. Had to repost

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