Due to the economy, the cost of eating out has gone up.
Thứ Tư, 23 tháng 10, 2019
A young woman on a flight from Ireland asked the priest beside her, ‘Father,may I ask a favor?’
‘Of course child. What can I do for you?’
‘Well, I bought an expensive woman’s electric hair dryer for my Mother’s birthday that is unopened and well over the Customs limits, and I’m afraid they’ll confiscate it. Is there any way you could carry it through customs for me? Under your robes perhaps?
‘I would love to help you, dear, but I must warn you: I will not lie.’
‘With your honest face, Father, no one will question you.’
When they got to Customs, she let the priest go ahead of her..
The official asked, ‘Father, do you have anything to declare?’
‘From the top of my head down to my waist, I have nothing to declare.’
The official thought this answer strange, so he asked, ‘And what do you have to declare from your waist to the floor?’
‘I have a marvelous instrument designed to be used on a woman, but which is, to date, unused.’
Roaring with laughter, the official said, ‘Go ahead, Father. Next!
A man was sitting in traffic when a cop knocked on his window.
He rolled down the window and asked the officer: "Why is there such a traffic jam?"
Officer: "A group of terrorists kidnapped a few politicians and are blocking the road. They have threatened to burn the politicians alive in 1000 gallons of gasoline if they don't get a 5 million dollar ransom within the hour. I'm going from car to car collecting donations and would like to know if you'd please help."
Man: "Ok. How much are other people giving?"
Officer: "On average, about two gallons."
First time
Wife : Be gentle, it is my first time in bed.
Husband : What? You had three divorces before.
Wife : My first husband was a philosopher. He only talked about it.
Second was a gynaecologist. He just kept looking at it.
And the third was an engineer. He wanted to re-design it.
You are from HR, so this time I know, I am going to be fucked.
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