“Doc, all my 5 kids want to be valets when they grow up!”

Doctor: WOW! That’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.

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I tripped over my girlfriends bra

seemed to be a booby trap.

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If you've been thinking about singing karaoke with a friend

Just Duet!

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The man who invented velcro died.

RIP

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I removed the shell from my racing snail to make it go faster

but it just made it more sluggish.

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2 brothers open a weed shop.

It was a joint effort.

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Dad: Son, you're adopted.

Son: Oh wow I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents, your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

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