Funny Story

FunnyStory about animals and all around the world

Chủ Nhật, 2 tháng 2, 2020

A man is away on vacation and phones his brother to see how things are at home.

-Hi Gary, how's everything going? -Oh, not so good. To start your cat died and... -Hold on a sec, Gary. You don't ruin someone's vacation and give bad news just like that. You have to be subtle. You could've just said "Oh, the cat's up on the roof right now" or something, so I don't get upset and ruin my holiday. -Sorry, I never heard that before. -Well, that's ok, I guess you just didn't know. How's Dad doing? -Ahh, he's up on the roof right now....

When I was in college, I was rejected by all fraternities because I was circumcised.

Apparently you needed to be a complete dick....

There was a little boy who needed $10 and he prayed to God for two weeks to get the money...

But nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to God to ask for the $10. When the post office was to sort out the boy's letter addressed to 'God, America', they decided to deliver it to President Donald Trump. The President was impressed, touched and entertained by the boy's letter. He told his secretary to send $2 to the boy. The President thought it would be a lot of money for the little boy. The boy was happy to receive money from God, so he sat down to write a thank-you note that read: Dear God, thank you for sending me the money....

John is a mailman in a small town. Everyone in the town knows him. Today he is retiring.

Every house he went to, families were greeting him and congratulating him. Most game him gifts. Flowers, cards, presents ... until he got to the last house on his final route. A woman came to the door stark naked. She quietly took him upstairs and made sweet passionate love to him for hours until they passed out. The next morning, she hurried downstairs and made him a huge breakfast. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, and hash browns. She served it to him in bed with a one dollar bill under the plate. John looked up and said, "This has been amazing and I...

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?”

The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it...

My son identifies as a crescent moon.

I hope it's just a phase....

Thứ Bảy, 1 tháng 2, 2020

I’m selling my dead batteries.

They’re free of charge if you’re interested....