Just saw a guy wearing T-Shirt that reads "Truth + God = Life"

Thank god I'm good at math, Truth = Life - God

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What does a robot do after sex?

Nuts and bolts

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My friend just emailed me a compressed nsfw video

sigh... unzips

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I'm giving up masturbating for an entire month.

Sorry, bad punctuation.

I'm giving up. Masturbating for an entire month.

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‌‌I f‌‌ound m‌‌y s‌‌on h‌‌anging f‌‌rom a‌‌ r‌‌ope i‌‌n h‌‌is b‌‌edroom.‌‌ On t‌‌he f‌‌loor w‌‌as a‌‌ n‌‌ote s‌‌aying, "‌‌I c‌‌an't s‌‌tand t‌‌he c‌‌ritism a‌‌nymore."

I q‌‌uickly c‌‌ut h‌‌im d‌‌own, g‌‌ave h‌‌im C‌‌PR a‌‌nd h‌‌e s‌‌tarted t‌‌o b‌‌reathe.

As h‌‌e l‌‌ay i‌‌n m‌‌y a‌‌rms I‌‌ s‌‌aw h‌‌is e‌‌yes s‌‌lowly o‌‌pen a‌‌nd I‌‌ s‌‌aid, "‌‌That's n‌‌ot h‌‌ow y‌‌ou s‌‌pell c‌‌riticism."

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A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood bank

The rabbit says : I think I might be a type O.

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A truck loaded with Worcestershire sauce is driving through Saskatoon, Saskatchewan when it collides with a Nissan Qashqai.

The truck then careens down the road and hits a car from Massachusetts, injuring the two otorhinolaryngologists inside.

A bystander quickly calls to report the accident.

The emergency operator asks the bystander, "What happened?"

"It's hard to say." . .

Co-written by M0ng078

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