FunnyStory about animals and all around the world
Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)
Play game and comfortable :)
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
The next day the man calls again and asks for the boss. "I told you," the wife replies, "he died last week." The day after he calls again and once more asks to speak to his boss. By this time the wife is getting upset and shouts: "I'VE ALREADY TOLD YOU TWICE, MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING?"
"Cos" He replies laughing, "I just love hearing it..."
They hit it off, and she likes a man in uniform, so she says, “Why don’t you come up to my room?”
The general says, “I’m flattered but at my age I’m not sure if things would work the way you hope.”
She says, “But you’re in good shape...tell me, when was the last time you had sex?”
“Oh...”,says the general...”it was probably 1950.”
“Oh my gosh!”, says the woman. “Well I’m sure it will all come back to you.”
So they end up in bed and it’s pretty wild. The general really has some skills.
When it’s all over, she says, “General, that was wonderful! I’m impressed that you haven’t forgotten a thing since 1950!”
And the general says, “Well I should hope not. It’s only 2130 now.”
They walk together trough the woods throughout the day and into the night looking for help.
At last, they find a little wooden house with a lit window and a barn next to it.
The Jewish man says:
"Finally, someone who can help us! Let's ask the owner if we can stay the night and pick up our search in the morning"
They knock on the door and an old man answers
They explain the situation, and the old man says:
"I'll be glad to have you stay the night, I even have a roast in my oven which is way too big for me to eat alone. Please come in."
The three explain their journey and misfortunes to the old man while they enjoyed a nice warm meal.
When it is time to sleep, the old man says:
"Alright, my friends, I'm off to bed. There are only two other beds in the guest bedroom, so one of you will have to sleep in the barn, which is nice, warm and cozy."
The Jewish man promptly says:
"Don't worry, I'll sleep in the barn and you two enjoy the comfortable beds in here."
And off he goes to the barn.
Five minutes later, knocking is heard on the old man's door. He answers.
"I'm sorry, guys. I would gladly sleep in the barn, but there is a pig in there, and, in my religion, pigs are considered dirty creatures, and not kosher, so I cannot sleep in the presence of it. One of you two will have to go in my stead."
"I'll go, it's no hassle, I'll go", says the Hindu.
Five more minutes pass, and again there's knocking on the door.
"I'm sorry too, guys. There is a cow in there, and in my religion they are most sacred creatures, and I am not worthy of sleeping in the presence of one. I can't sleep in there."
"Ugh, fine." Says Karen, ”If you can't bring yourselves to be gentlemen and leave a bed for this lady here, I guess I'll have to go sleep in the barn. But I swear this will not be the end of it, you two owe me."
And off she goes.
Five minutes later, again, knocking.
'Twas the pig and the cow.
In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him.
To add injury to the insult, she said she wanted back the picture of herself that she had given him.
So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find.
In all, he got more than 25 pictures of various women (some with clothes and some without).
He then mailed them to his now-former girlfriend with the following note:
"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."
I don’t geddit.
Eddits:
Courtesy to The_maxi : I propose to add a function to remove awards and name it “regreddit“
Upon arrival in heaven, God said, "Since you have died in a terrible way, I'll grant you one wish before I let you into heaven."
The first woman, being a person always concerned on her looks, comes up to God and says "I wish to be beautiful." God grants her wish.
The next person can’t decide on what to wish for, so he ends up wishing for the same thing. At this point a man at the very back of the line starts to laugh.
The next couple, seeing how utterly wondrous the two have become, make their wish to become beautiful also, and the man at the end laughs even louder.
One after another, the people wish for the same thing. The closer God gets to the end of the line, the harder the man laughs. When God finally reaches him, he asks "What is your wish my son?"
The man says, "Make them all ugly again!"