Me: sshhh
Boss: What is your biggest wea-
Me: sshhh
Boss: (whispering) you're hired. Welcome to the library.
Chủ Nhật, 23 tháng 8, 2020
A gentleman is preparing to board a plane when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.
Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope starts a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, “Excuse me, but would you know a four letter word ending in ‘u-n-t’ that refers to a woman?”
“Oh my god!” the man thought. I can’t tell the Pope that. There must be another word.” The gentleman thinks for quite a while, then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, “I think the word you’re looking for is ‘Aunt’.”
“Oh, of course!” the Pope exclaims. “Do you have an eraser?”
Son : Dad, how do I catch fish?
Dad : Just throw this clickbait into the water
Son : And then what?
Dad : What happens next will shock you
Two marble statues of a man an a woman facing each other stand in an old park for centuries.
God looks at them from the above. He feels sorry for them – they're looking at each other all those centuries and yet couldn't do anything more since they're made from marble – so one night, when nobody's around to see, he turns them into living couple and says:
"Okay. I made you alive and I'm letting you do whatever you feel like doing – for ten minutes. After that, I'm turning you back to marble statues!"
Delighted and giggling, the now alive couple quickly dashes to the nearest bushes. Moans and orgasmic noises can be heard. Ten minutes pass and they come out of the bushes all messy, but also smiling, relieved, and satisfied.
Looking at them all smiling, God feels sorry for them again and says:
"Okay, okay, you have another ten minutes!"
While the couple runs back towards the bushes, one turns towards the other and says:
"This time YOU're holding the pigeon and I'm shitting on it!"
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