A poor man goes to a sex club

After standing in line to get in het gets to the doorman. "What can I get for $5" the poor man says.

"You can get into the mystery room" says the doorman and he proceeds to lead the poor man to a door. Once he opens the door he sees a big round chamber with in the middle a donkey with a small stool behind it.

So the poor man accepts that 5 dollars wouldn't get him a lot so het stands up on the stool, drops his pants and f*cks the donkey.

A week later the poor man returns to the sex club, now with 15 dollars in his pocket!

"What can I get for $15" the poor man askes the Doorman. "You get to go upstairs" says the doorman. And he leads the poor man to the staircase next to the door he went in last time.

Upstairs he enters a room with massage beds in a big circle. He sees some men already laying there, naked and face down. So the poor man does the same. And when he looks down he sees a window in the floor with a view on a fat chick laying on a bed. After a few minutes a man comes in the room where the fat chick lays and he starts f*cking her.

"This is not a bad show" says the poor man out loud. "Well this week is alright" says his neighbour "last week it was a guy fucking a donkey"

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A husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago?"

"We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."

"Yes", she says, "I remember it well."

OK, he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"

A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to see these two old-timers having sex against a fence. I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble. So he follows them.

The elderly couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in.. Then suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know.

After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.

So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply,

"Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

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A farmer bought a cock to service his hens.

A farmers cock is getting old, so he decides to buy another younger one.

When the new cock is put into the pen with the other chickens, the old cock says to him "I own all these hens, they all will only sleep with me, but I am old, I will give them to you if you grant my last wish before I die"

The young cock is desperate to sleep with all these hens, and respects the old chickens last wish, so he agrees.

"I want you to fuck me like I am one of them, I've always been curious what it's like, but there's never been another cockerel around"

The young rooster is a little put off, but agrees all the same, so he mounts him and starts going when suddenly there is a loud bang, and the young rooster drops dead

The farmer puts down his shotgun and says "fuck sake, that's the third gay rooster I've bought this month"

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A completely naked woman ran into a cab. The driver looked behind and stared at the woman. The woman asked, “What, you’ve never seen a naked lady before?”

The driver said, “I have, I’m just trying to figure out where you have my money”

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I once woke up in the middle of an operation.

“Doctor, thank goodness you’re awake! The patient is dying!” My fellow surgeons told me.

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What do we call smart people in the US?

Tourists.

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A man accepts a job in a village with no women

Once there, he asks a local:

-There are really no women here?

-None.

-So... What do you guys do when you need to have sex?

-There is a donkey close to the river for that.

The man tries to ignore that and goes home, from where he can see the river and therefore, the donkey. After months in that village, every day the donkey seems a little more attractive, so one day when a few other men ask him if he'd like to go to the donkey with them, he accepts. When he is close to the donkey, the man pulls down his pants and one of the other locals yells:

-What are you doing!?

-Aren't we...you know? Going to do the donkey thing?

-We going to ride the donkey across the river so we can get to the other village where we can meet women.

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