She plays Hannibal Montannibal.
Thứ Sáu, 23 tháng 10, 2020
Thứ Năm, 22 tháng 10, 2020
A Catholic bishop, a Baptist minister, and a Jewish Rabbi meet in a bar.
The three men sit next to each other and begin talking about life and the aspects of their various faiths. The town they all lived in was in a very heavily forrested area and after a couple of drinks the men have an idea.
Each man puts down a couple hundred bucks and they decide to have a competition. The first man to convert a bear to their religion will get the money. The men decide to meet back at the bar in two weeks.
Two weeks pass and the men return to the bar and the bishop has a cast on his arm. The other men asked what happened to him. The bishop replied "well I found a bear stratching itself against a tree. I tried to get a rosary around its neck but it bit me"
The minister has a cast on his leg and the other two men asked what happened to him. The minister said "Well I was down by the stream and I found a bear trying to catch samon so I tried to dunk its head in the water to Baptize him but he didn't like that and bit my leg"
Then they look to the Rabbi who is in a full body cast and they asked what happened to him and he replied "Well in hindsight I probably shouldn't have started with circumcision"
A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.
The mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.
The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the mortician a blank check and says, "I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing."
The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly.
She says to the mortician, "Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?" To her astonishment, the mortician presents her with the blank check. "There's no charge" she says. "No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!" she says.
"Honestly, ma'am," the mortician says, "it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice."
"So I just switched the heads."
Three men were about to be executed by the firing squad.
The first man was brought forward and before they could shoot him he yelled "avalanche"! The firing squad panicked and in the confusion, the man jumped over the wall and into freedom before the firing squad could regroup.
The second man thought what the first man did was clever and when he was brought forward for his execution, he yelled "earthquake"! Again, the firing squad panicked and the second man took advantage of it to jump over the wall and into freedom.
The third man thought he saw the pattern: yell a disaster and jump over the wall. When he was finally brought forward, with a smirk on his face he yelled "fire"!
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