The mom’s like “you can’t date him he could be your dad”
And the daughter is like “so there’s an age difference who cares”
“I think you misunderstood me”
Thứ Năm, 19 tháng 11, 2020
A woman always has a visit from her lover while her husband is at work.
One day the nine-year-old son hides in the closet to watch what the two are doing ... Suddenly the husband comes home and the wife hides her lover in the closet.
The son whispers: "Dark in here ..."
The man: "Oh... it's you! Ehm... yes, you are right. It is dark in here."
The son: "I have a soccer ball ..."
The man: "Good for you."
The son: "Do you want to buy that?"
The man: "Nah, thank you very much!"
The son: "My father is outside!"
The man: "OK, how much?"
The son: "250$."
In the next few weeks it happens again that the son and the lover end up in the same closet.
The son: "It's dark in here ..."
The man: "Oh god... yeah, you're right."
The son: "I have sneakers."
The man, mentally sighing: "How much?"
The son: "500$."
After a few days, the father says to the son: "Take your gear and let's play soccer."
The son: "I can't, I've sold everything!"
The father: "For how much?"
The son: "For 750 euros."
The father: "It is unbelievable how you cheat on your friends, that is much more than the cost. I will take you to church for confession! That will teach you a lesson"
The father takes his son to church, puts him in the confessional and closes the door.
The son: "It's dark in here ..."
The pastor: "STOP THAT SHIT!!"
A restaurant has a challenge: "We will give $500 to any customer whose order we can not fill"
One day, a man sees this sign and decides to take them up on it. So when gets seated, he tells the waitress that he wants an elephant testicle on rye bread.
She dutifully takes his order back to the kitchen. A few seconds later he could hear all hell breaking loose in the kitchen: there's people shouting, swearing, pots and pans banging. A few minutes later, the manager comes out with $500 in hand.
"You really got us," he says, "this is the first time in ten years we've been out of rye bread."
A bear and a rabbit find a magic genie in the woods
He grants them three wishes a piece.
"I wish for a motorcycle."
As the motorcycle appeared, the bear scoffed, "What a waste of a wish. I wish for all the bears in the forest to be female."
The genie granted his wish and the rabbit made his second wish, "I wish for a helmet."
As the rabbit's helmet appeared the bear laughed. "You're so stupid, I wish for all of the bears in the neighboring forests were female." The genie granted the wish and then the bear made his last wish, "Now I wish that all the bears in all the forests in all of the world were female."
The genie granted his last wish. Then the rabbit pulled on his helmet and revved up his motorcycle and before he tore off into the sunset he pointed at the bear and said, "I wish he was gay."
A boy was having sex with a girl on a railway track.
The train driver spots them and starts hooting but they ignore it.. He applies brakes so hard and the train stops just a few yards away from the couple.
Driver jumps from the engine and walks to the boy who just finished and is standing up and zipping up his pants...
The driver shouts out to the boy "Do u realize that if I had not seen you, this would have been your last fuck..!!!
Boy goes...'Listen dude, you were coming... she was coming.... and I was coming.... and then I realised .... only you have brakes.
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)