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Chủ Nhật, 22 tháng 11, 2020

man walks into a bar

man walks int a bar looking rather dejected .walks up tot eh bar and orders 4 shots of tequila

bartender says " geez man , whats wrong ?"

the guy says " i just found out my youngest son is gay "

the bartender says " aw man , thats sucks . Tell you what , the drinks are on me "

so the guy drinks the shots and leaves .

2 weeks later the same guy walks in the bar and orders 4 shots of teqila .

bartender says " what happened now ?"

the guy says " i just found out my oldests son is gay "

the bartender says " man , that's rough , drinks are on me again "

the guy drinks his shots and leaves the bar

2 weeks later the same guy walks in the bar and orders 4 shots of tequila

the bartender says " jesus man ! doesn't anyone in your family like pussy ?"

the guy responds " yea, apparently my wife !

My friend said that he couldn't afford to pay his huge water bill...

So, I sent him a 'Get well Soon' card.

Tiger Woods drives his BMW into a petrol station

in a remote part of Ireland. Paddy, who knows nothing about golf, says "Top of the morning to you sir!"

Tiger nods and bends over to pick up the nozzle. As he does so two tees fall out of his pocket.

"What are those?"

Tiger replies, "These are called tees. They are for resting my balls on when I am driving."

"Fuck me" says Paddy, BMW think of everything!"

Doctor, doctor

A man goes into the doctors and says "doctor doctor I think I'm going deaf" and the doctor says "can you describe the symptoms" and he says "yes, Homer is fat and Marge has blue hair"

Wife: Would you care to explain why the bottle of whisky you bought yesterday is half empty?

Me : It’s because you’re a pessimist.

While Donald Trump is out there, causing a fuss, what is his opponent doing?

He is just waiting around like an average Joe, Biden his time.

Why didn't Trump buy anything when he went to the UK?

He only had one Pence