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Thứ Bảy, 20 tháng 3, 2021
Rich man, poor man
A rich man and a poor man are in a bar, discussing what they'd bought for their wives' birthdays.
The rich man says "I bought my wife two things: a diamond ring and a Mercedes Benz". The poor man asks why those two things. The rich man says "Well, I thought if she didn't like the diamond ring, she could use the Mercedes to take it back to the store."
The rich man asks the poor man what he had bought his wife for her birthday. "I bought two things, too" he says. "I bought her a pair of flip flops and a dildo". "Interesting", said the rich man "but why those two things?" "Well," said the poor man "I thought that way, if she didn't like the flip flops, she could go fuck herself".
my husband, who works in a funeral home
Early one morning, my husband, who works in a funeral home, woke me, complaining of severe abdominal pains. We rushed to the emergency room, where they gave him a series of tests to determine the source of the pain.
My husband decided not to have me call in sick for him until we knew what was wrong. When the results came back, the nurse informed us that, true to our suspicions, he was suffering from a kidney stone.
I turned to my husband and asked, "Would you like me to call the funeral home now?" With an alarmed look, the nurse quickly said, "Ma'am, he's not THAT sick!"
A Feminist Talked to me About the Dwayne Johnson Rule
The rule, as she explained it, was that in order to determine if a particular comment was appropriate to say to a woman, first ask yourself, 'Would I be comfortable saying this to Dwayne Johnson?' If not, don't say it.
I thought this sounded like a good rule. So I told her:
"Your chest is fucking epic."
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