It’s an extremely rare dish order.
Thứ Tư, 31 tháng 3, 2021
There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,
There Once Was A Poet Named Bates,
His poems weren't always first rate,
His first lines weren't bad, but the problem he had,
Was that he always tried to put too many syllables into the last line.
The Mistress
A rich dude and his wife were having dinner at a fancy joint. This absolutely stunning young woman comes over to the table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, then says she'll see him later and walks away.
The wife glares at him: "Who the hell was that ?
"Oh", replies the husband casually, "She's my mistress."
"Why you son of a bitch, that's the last straw" says the wife. "I'm done with you, I want a divorce!"
"I can understand that," he sez, "but remember, divorce means no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more new Jaguars in the garage at Christmas and no more yacht club. ....But, the decision is yours, my dear."
At that moment, George, a friend of husband, shows up at the same restaurant with a gorgeous blonde babe on his arm.
"Who's that woman with George?" demands the wife.
"That's his mistress," says her husband.
"Ours is prettier", she replies.
I 69ed with my girlfriend before a dentist appointment...
This morning I had the amazing opportunity to 69 with my girlfriend, so I did, but afterwards I was concerned because I remembered that I had a dentist appointment.
So I went into the bathroom and brushed my teeth 5 times, mouth washed twice, and on my way to the dentist I popped in 5 mints. When I got there I felt kind of relieved thinking okay my breath has to smell good.
Well the dentist calls me in, sits me down, and leans me back. He tells me to open my mouth and I did, but when he got close he leaned back and said,
"Oh my god were you 69ing this morning?!"
I said, "Well no doc...Why? Does my breath smell like pussy??"
The doc replied "No, your forehead smells like ass."
A woman, cranky because her husband was late coming home again, decided to leave a note, saying, "I've had enough and have left you. Don't bother coming after me.”
Then she hid under the bed to see his reaction.
After a short while, the husband comes home and she could hear him in the kitchen before he comes into the bedroom.
She could see him walk towards the dresser and pick up the note.
After a few minutes, he wrote something on it before picking up the phone and calling someone.
"She's finally gone...yeah I know, about bloody time, I'm coming to see you, put on that sexy French nightie.
I love you...can't wait to see you...we'll do all the naughty things you like."
He hung up, grabbed his keys and left.
She heard the car drive off as she came out from under the bed.
Seething with rage and with tears in her eyes she grabbed the note to see what he wrote...
"I can see your feet.
We're outta bread: be back in five minutes.
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