Only one, but it takes the whole emergency room to get it out
Thứ Sáu, 2 tháng 4, 2021
Thứ Năm, 1 tháng 4, 2021
A woman has just given birth to her child.
The doctor holds the newborn child at both feet, upside down, then slams it three times on the wall. The mother is shocked! The doctor consoles: «April fools! Was already dead!»
Veronica’s husband died young and left his vast coconut estate to her.
Veronica was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the properties, but knew very little about coconut farming, so she spread the word that she needed a man to look after the estate.
Two men applied for the job. One was the local drunk handyman, Sebastio, and the other was Benedict who was gay.
Veronica thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied for the job she decided to hire Benedict, figuring it would be safer to have a gay around the house than a drunk.
Benedict proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about caring for coconut trees. For weeks, the two of them worked side by side, and the coconut plantation was soon flourishing.
Then one Saturday the widow Veronica said to Benedict, "You have done a really good job, and the farm and the coconut trees look great. You should take a break and go out and have a good time. Maybe watch a movie or go for a dance. Here's some money. Have a blast!"
Benedict readily agreed and went into town that Saturday night.
One o'clock came and no Benedict
Two o'clock and no Benedict.
Finally Benedict returned around two-thirty in the morning, and upon entering the room, he found the widow Veronica sitting in the candlelit hall with a glass of wine, waiting for him.
She quietly called him over to her.
'Unbutton my blouse and take it off,' she said.
Trembling, he did as she directed..
'Now take off my shoes.'
He did as she asked, ever so slowly.
'Now take off my stockings.'
He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.
"Now take off my skirt.'
He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the candlelight.
'Now take off my bra.'
Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.
Then she looked at him and said,
‘’If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired.’’
A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City restaurant and notices that the three Bulgarian businessmen seated there are furiously masturbating. She screams, "What the hell do you guys think you are doing?" One of the Bulgarian men gasps...
"Can't you see? Ve arrrre all verrry, verrry hoongry!!"
The waitress makes a stroking motion and replies, "So what does whacking-off in the middle of the restaurant have to do with anything!!??"
One of the other businessmen sputters, "The menu say, FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED!"
If James Bond was Spanish.
"My name is Bond.
James Diego Jose Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno Maria del los Remedios Bond."
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