He puts his pjamazon.
Thứ Bảy, 24 tháng 4, 2021
Today I wrote my first fully original joke. It's bad.
So there was once this one giant who had magic powers. So the giant being so tall and heavy was afraid of storing things on the floor because he would sometimes step on them and break them without realizing it.
After enough times of that happening he decided he would use his magic to just make a magical floating storage area in the sky. He called the storage area his attic because he thought it was neat, as he'd never been able to fit in a real house with a real attic.
Anywho the magic of the attic had worn down over time and stuff was starting to fall randomly. One day the giant is sleeping on his stomach and a piano falls out of the attic right onto his back. He goes to his village and sees someone who is both a doctor and magician. He says to the doctor/magician "So I was just laying down on my stomach and a piano fell on my lower back". The doctor/magician says "Oh, so you need my medical skills because you have a hurt sciatic?" And the giant says "Actually I need your magic skills because I have a weak sky attic"
Two birds are on a tree branch in the middle of the night
Bird 1: "I'm hungry, I'm going to try to find a mouse to eat."
Bird 2: "You sure? It's pretty damn dark to find a mouse."
Bird 1: "There's no harm in trying."
Bird 2: "I guess.."
So bird 1 flies off into the darkness. Some time passes and the sun begins to rise. Bird 2 sees his pal flying back with a juicy beakful of blood.
Bird 2: "Wow! Where did you find a feast like that?"
Bird 1: "See that tree over there?"
Bird 2: "Yeah"
Bird 1: "Well, I didn't."
A burglar broke into a house one night....
A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables when a voice in the dark said, 'Jesus knows you're here.'
He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head and continued.
Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, clear as a bell he heard 'Jesus is watching you.'
Startled, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot.
'Did you say that?' he hissed at the parrot.
'Yes', the parrot confessed, then squawked, 'I'm just trying to warn you that he's watching you.'
The burglar relaxed. 'Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?'
'Moses,' replied the bird.
'Moses?' the burglar laughed. 'What kind of people would name a bird Moses?'
'The kind of people who would name a Rottweiler Jesus.'
A Russian citizen is crossing the border into Ukraine and hands his passport to the customs officer.
The customs officer asks: "Name?"
The Russian replies: "Vladimir Krylov"
The customs officer continues: "Occupation?"
The Russian replies: "Not yet, just visiting."
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