He granted me immortality.
Thứ Tư, 28 tháng 4, 2021
The build up is what makes it
So a priest walks down from the church into the market.
he sees a young boy at a stand, selling fish.
he had never seen fish like these.
so the priest walks over to the boy and asks, "what type of fish are these?"
boy replies "sons of bitches"
priest says" you shouldnt talk like that son!"
little boy says "no, thats the name of the fish!"
Priest: "i guess thats alright, Ill take some of them"
so the priest goes home and cooks the fish and says "wow these are great. and you know who'd love these? the Cardinal!"
so the priest buys more fish and the following week is having dinner with the cardinal.
priest says, "These are some tasty sons of bitches eh!?"
cardinal says " father your a man of the cloth, i've never heard you speak like that in all the years Ive known you!"
priest says, " no, its the name of the fish!"
cardinal looks at him and says " really? oh ok. but you know who would really love these? The Pope!"
so the following sunday, the priest and the cardinal are sitting down to dinner with the Pope.
priest looks at the cardinal and says "these are some tasty sons of bitches huh?!"
cardinal says " these are the tastiest sons of bitches I ever had!"
they turn to the Pope.
The Pope sets down his knife, then sets down his fork. Looks at the Priest and Cardinal and says,
"YOU MOTHER FUCKERS ARE ALRIGHT!"
Queen Elizabeth and Dolly Parton die on the same day and they both go before an Angel to find out if they'll be admitted to Heaven Unfortunately, there's only one space left that day, so the Angel must decide which of them gets in.
The Angel asks Dolly if there's some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly takes off her top and says, 'Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity.'
The Angel thanks Dolly, and asks Her Majesty the same question. The Queen takes a bottle of Perrier out of her purse, drinks it down. Then, pees into a toilet and pulls the lever.
The Angel says, 'OK, your Majesty, you may go in.'
Dolly is outraged and asks, 'What was that all about?
I show you two of God's own perfect creations and you turn me down. She pees into a toilet and she gets in!
'Sorry, Dolly,' says the Angel, 'but even in Heaven, A Royal Flush beats a Pair. no matter how big they are.
My wife complains about constantly being sexually harassed at work
I told her she can stop working from home and go back to the office if she doesn’t like it
Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter.
FO: My dog is so smart that every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese, stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed.
SO: I know.
FO: How do you know?
FO: My dog told me.
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