T.hanks...
Chủ Nhật, 2 tháng 5, 2021
A man goes to a hospital and sees a man masturbating.
He asks the nurse why is he doing so. The nurse explains to him that if he doesn't masturbate every 6 hours there would be a clot and he would die. Then in the next room, he sees a nurse giving a blowjob to a guy. He then says, "You will have to explain this." The nurse replies, "Same problem better insurance."...
A pianist is applying for a job playing piano in a fancy restaurant.
So the manager takes him up to the piano and says 'OK show me what you can do'
The pianist says
'Sure, but the music might be unfamiliar to you because I only play my own compositions'
The manager says
'That's no problem, take it away'
The pianist begins to play the most emotionally stirring piece of music the manager has ever heard. It's achingly beautiful and almost brings a tear to the managers eye.
Choking back tears the manager says 'That is beautiful, what to do you call it?'
The pianist replies 'I fucked your mother in the ass and she shit...
An Englishman and Welshman were in a pub discusing their sexual prowess.
The Englishman boasts he's gotten laid with 27 different partners this year.
"What about you?" he asks the Welshman, who promptly falls asleep....
There’s apparently an optimal temperature for sex
Usually its too hot or too cold though, it never seems to be the right fucking temperature...
We're Sergeants Now!
Leroy and Jasper have been promoted from privates to sergeants. Not long after, they're out for a walk and Leroy says, "Hey, Jasper, there's the Officer's Club. Let's you and me stop in." "But we're privates," protests Jasper. "We're sergeants now," says Leroy, pulling him inside. "Now, Jasper, I'm gonna sit down and have me a drink." "But we're privates," says Jasper. "You blind?" asks Leroy, pointing at his stripes. "We're sergeants now." So they have their drink, and pretty soon a hooker comes up to Leroy. "Your cute," she says, "and I'd like...
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