Which means I hear voices but not for long enough to drive me insane.
Chủ Nhật, 23 tháng 5, 2021
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer play golf.
A priest, a doctor, and an engineer are out playing a round of golf. Partway through their game, they realize that the group in front is taking forever to move through the course. Frustrated, they ask the groundskeeper what's going on. The groundskeeper, visibly emotional, says:
"Well, I'm afraid the reason that group is a bit slow is that they are, in fact, a trio of blind firefighters. You see, last month they saved the clubhouse from a blaze and lost their vision in the accident. To show our thanks, we let them play for free whenever they'd like."
The priest replies: "My that's terrible! I'll be sure to say a prayer for them."
"What a tragedy!" says the Doctor, "I'll see if I can help them with their treatment."
After a moment of quiet, the Engineer finally speaks:
"Well for goodness sake, why can't they just play at night?"
A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’
He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
'You talk?' he asks.
'Yep,' the Lab replies
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?'
The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so... I told the CIA.
In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.'
'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running...
But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.'
'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.'
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
'Ten dollars,' the guy says.
'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?'
'Because he's a Bullshitter. He's never been out of the yard.
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