A guy walks into a bar, notices a "free beer for life challenge" on the front door.

A guy walks into a bar, notices a "free beer for life challenge" on the front door. He goes inside, and asks the bartender what he needs to do to receive free beer for life. The bartender reaches under the bar and pulls out a bottle of vodka, " First, drink this whole bottle in one go, no crying, breathing, or puking allowed." The man grabs the bottle and starts chugging. He slams the bottle on the counter, burps, and asks what's next. The bartender, totally aloof says, " Alright, there's an alligator outside with a loose tooth, go pull it for...

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This morning at about 7:45, I was in a long line at a grocery store that opens at 8:00 for senior citizens only.

A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane. He returned and tried to cut in again but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away. As he approached the line for the third time he said, "Look, if you don't let me unlock the damn door you're never going to get in there!”...

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A man asks his doctor: "Do you think I'll live to be a hundred?"

The doctor asks the man "Well, that depends. Do you drink?" "Oh, no sir! I abstain from all alcohol. Soda, too. I just drink plenty of fresh water." "Do you smoke?" "No, sir! Never smoked in my life, and I stay away from any place with second hand smoke." "Do you eat a lot of sugary and greasy foods?" "No, sir! I carefully watch my diet and caloric intake, and I'm sure to eat plenty of vegetables." "Do you go to parties? Stay up late? Are you sexually promiscuous?" "Not at all! Early to bed and early to rise! And abstinence is key." The doctor...

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Why did the Mexican man take Xanax?

For hispanic attacks....

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AskReddit is 16 years old next month ...

Typical teenager, it has an answer for everything....

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I had a fight with my erection this morning

I beat it single handedly....

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A horny gorilla sees a lion bent over a small stream, taking a drink. [NSFW]

A horny gorilla sees a lion bent over a small stream, taking a drink. The gorilla runs up behind the lion, grabs on, and has his way with him. The gorilla then takes off running, with the very angry lion on his heels. As they run through the jungle, the gorilla gets a bit of a lead, and sees a British safari camp ahead. The gorilla enters the camp, grabs some khakis that are hung out to dry, and puts on pants, a shirt, and a hat. He sits on a chair by the campfire and grabs a copy of the local paper, pretending to read, to hide his face. The lion...

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