FunnyStory about animals and all around the world
Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)
Play game and comfortable :)
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
So he secretly taped a tiny razor blade to her vagina. Three days later, he ordered his knights to drop their pants. They all had bandaged penises, except for one. The king said to him, "I always knew you were my most loyal knight!"
He replied, "It wath nothing, your magethy"
But now I can happily say that after years of hard work and perseverance; I now live direct deposit to direct deposit.
Joe loved his dog. Only one problem - his dog wasn’t housebroken. Joe tried everything, read every dog training book, bought every device on the market. But the dog was untrainable. Finally, he saw an ad for a pet shop that guaranteed results. Desperate, he gave it a try.
The pet shop was very weird. Inside, half the shop was full of bones and dog treats. The other half of the shop was full of dildos, sex toys, and lubricant. It seemed the shop sold both. In the middle, behind the register, was a pleasant-looking man holding an old leather book.
Joe asked if the man could help train his dog.
“Sure can,” he said. “See, this book is a magical training manual, and I rent it out. You take it home and read the first page aloud to your dog. And then the book gives your dog whatever he wants in order for him to do whatever you’re trying to train him to do. Works almost every time. Just make sure you have plenty of space.”
With nothing to lose, Joe rented the book. A few days later he comes back and slaps the old leather book down onto the counter.
“Well, my dog is house trained now,” said Joe. “Only problem is my house is filled top to bottom with meat. Thousands and thousands of steaks, hot dogs, and pork chops. What the hell am I supposed to do with all of it?”
“Do the same thing I did,” said the shopkeeper. “Open a business. My dog wanted more treats than he could ever possibly eat. And turns out my cat wanted me to go fuck myself.”
…and all of a sudden he hears in music...
No one is around, so he starts searching for the source...
He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads: "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770- 1827"...
Then he realises that the music is Beethoven's Ninth Symphony and it is being played backwards...
Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him...
By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed...
This time it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played backwards...
Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar...
When they return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backwards...
The expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th...
By the next day the word has spread, and a crowd has gathered around the grave...
They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward. Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group...
Someone in the group asks him if he has an explanation for the music...
"I would have thought it was obvious," the caretaker says...
"He's decomposing!"
"Congratulations!", he says, "You wasted your entire pitiful life!"
"Well," the man replies, "at least I'm not a adult living in my father's basement."
An Irish man is sitting at a bar, then a Chinese man sits down next to him. The Chinese takes a drink, the the Irish man says to him, "do you know Kung fu?". The Chinese man says, "why because I'm Chinese? That's just racist!". The Irish man says, "No, I ask because you're drinking my beer".