Christopher Walken.
Chủ Nhật, 30 tháng 5, 2021
A limbless woman crying on the beach.
A limbless woman is sitting on the beach crying as a man approaches her.
“What’s wrong?” He asks.
“I’ve never been hugged before...” she responds.
The man hugs her and she stops crying for a second. Then the man walks away and the woman continues crying.
A little while later, a second man approaches and asks the woman what the matter is.
“I’ve never been kissed before.” She tells him.
The man kisses her and she stops crying briefly before he too walks away.
Eventually, a third man approaches her and, again, asks her what the matter is.
“I’ve never been fucked before.” She says.
The man stops and thinks for a second before scooping her up and throwing her into the ocean waves.
“There, now you’re fucked.”
There's a dog walking in the jungle.
Being a dog, he has amazing hearing, and heard a leopard sneaking up on him. He found a bone and starts chewing on it and remarks rather loudly "that was a tasty leopard, I wonder if there's anymore around here!" The leopard, startled by the comment, leaves in a hurry. Meanwhile up in the trees, a monkey witnessed the whole thing. He though to himself, I wonder if I tell the leopard what happened he'll give me immunity? So he found the leopard and told all. The leopard agreed to the terms and said, alright get on my back will go get that dog. The dog, with his amazing hearing, heard the whole exchange. He waited until they were seconds away, then said loudly "where is that monkey? I sent him out hours ago to fetch me another leopard!?"
Vladimir Putin and Kim Jong-Un have a meeting.
They took place on a scyscraper in Moscow. Putin and Kim sat on table facing each other, while a bodyguard stood behind them each.
Putin and Kim argued on whose bodyguard is more loyal. To show his loyalty, Putin ordered his bodyguard to jump out of window. His bodyguard was surprised and bewildered; after some hesitation he knelt his knee over his president and cried: "Please spare me, my prezident. I have wife and children." Putin felt sorry; he patted his shoulder and told him it was just a joke.
Watching them, Kim snorted and ordered his bodyguard to jump out of window. His bodyguard was surprised and bewildered, but soon he shouted and ran to the window. Putin was surprised; he ran and grabbed that bodyguard; yelling "Are you crazy? We're at scyscraper!" The bodyguard yelled, with fear in his eyes.
"Get off me! I have wife and children!"
Thứ Bảy, 29 tháng 5, 2021
Not a joke but a real incident that happened to an indian acquaintance of mine when he moved to Australia for higher studies..
So he comes out of the airport and gets into the cab.
The Aussie cab driver asked where he is from ?
He replied 'India '.
The cab driver asked ' So did you come to die?'
He got froze as it was the times when there were racial attacks by white Aussies on people of indian descent .
It was only few weeks later, he realised that the driver actually asked " Did you come today?'
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