You and 2 friends of yours walk through a forest

after a while you lot stumble upon a hut, from which a weird old lady, resembling a witch, comes out from. She slowly says "...do not step on the purple flower..." and then goes back into her hut. A little confused, you exchange looks with your friends, shrug, and keep walking. 30 minutes later - poof - 1 of your friends simply disappears. You immediately start looking for him, repeatedly shouting his name worridly. A couple of hours later, you find him behind a bush - fucking THE most ugly woman you have ever seen: She has a unibrow that connects...

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The doctor told me I'm going deaf...

The news was hard for me to hear...

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Sex After Death

A couple made a deal that whoever died first would come back and inform the other if there was sex after death. Their biggest fear was that there was no after-life at all. After a long life together, the husband was the first to die. True to his word, he made the first contact. “Judy, Judy.” “Is that you, George?" "Yes, I've come back like we agreed." "That's wonderful!? What's it like?" “Well, I get up in the morning, I have sex. I have breakfast and then it's off to the golf course. I have sex again, bathe in the warm sun and then have sex a...

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My sister is taking part in a social experiment. She has to wear a “Boris is doing his best “ t-shirt for 2 weeks and see how people react. So far she’s been spit on, punched and had a bottle thrown at her!

I’m curious to see what happens when she goes outside....

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A Joke for a Sunday

Jesus was relaxing in Heaven when he noticed a familiar looking old man. Wondering if the old man was His father Joseph, Jesus asked him, "Did you, by any chance, ever have a son?" "Yes," said the old man, "but he wasn't my biological son. He was born by a miracle, by the intervention of a magical being from the heavens." "Very interesting," said Jesus. "Did this boy ever have to fight temptation?" "Oh, yes, many times," answered the old man. "But he eventually won. Unfortunately, he heroically died at one point, but he came back to life shortly...

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Covid is not a joke and should be taken seriously

A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards, he wrongly believed he'd won an election he actually lost by millions of votes....

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I told my tailor I wouldn't be needing his services anymore

He said "Fine, suit yourself"...

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