So she gave them a test tickle.
Chủ Nhật, 18 tháng 7, 2021
The year is 1939, Soviet troops are marching on Finland
As they cross the border, the general hears a Finnish voice just over a hill saying "one Finnish soldier is better than 10 Soviet soldiers!".
The general laughs and sends 10 soldiers to take the hill, after a minute or so of gunfire, the same voice says "one Finnish soldier is better than 100 Soviet troops!"
Baffled and annoyed, the general sends 100 soldiers to take the hill, after about 5 minutes of gunfire and explosions, the same voice says "one Finnish soldier is better than a thousand Soviets!"
Furious, the general sends 1000 troops to take the hill, complete with tanks, high explosives, aircraft and artillery, and tells them not to return until the hill is taken. After half an hour of all hell breaking loose, everything falls silent. One Soviet troop, severely wounded and battered, drags himself to the general and says "don't send any more troops, comrade general, it's a trap, there's two of them."
My wife walked in on me while I was watching porn.
In a panic reflex I instantly changed to a random channel, the fishing channel.
As my wife walks out again she says: "you should stay on the porn channel... you know how to fish."
A cab driver picks up a Nun...
The driver looks in the rear view mirror and says, "Excuse me sister, I've always fantasised about having sex with a nun."
The nun replies, "Yeah, you and everyone else. Tell me are you a Catholic?"
"Actually I am" says the cabbie.
The nun then climbs into the front seat and gives him the best blow job of his life. Really curls his toes.
Feeling bad he says, "Actually sister I'm not Catholic".
The nun replies. "That's OK, my name is Bruce and I am going to fancy dress party."
Thứ Bảy, 17 tháng 7, 2021
I was banging this hot chick on her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.
She said "It's my husband!. Quick, try the backdoor!" .
Thinking back, I really should have run but you don't get offers like that every day.
A man arrives home at his local airport...
He hails the first taxi off the rank and says "how much out to the suburbs?"
"Sixty bucks" comes the reply.
"I've only got twenty in my pocket. When we get to my house, I'll give you the difference plus a big tip." says the traveller
"Nope" Says the cabbie firmly.
The next week he flies in again and sees the same driver this time third in the line.
He goes up to the first cab in the queue and asks how much to the suburbs, "sixty bucks". The traveller adds "If I throw in an extra hundred will you suck my cock?"
"Fuck you!"
He goes to the second taxi, same question and is met with a "Go to hell!"
He finally reaches the third cab and climbs into the back.
As they drive past the first two he gives them a wink and a big smile.
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