I know he means well.
Thứ Hai, 26 tháng 7, 2021
What did the redditor say after robbing a jewellery store?
Edit:OMG thanks for the silver
Edit 2:WTF OMG thanks for the gold
EDIT 3:OMFG THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE PLATINUM
Chủ Nhật, 25 tháng 7, 2021
Three men were buried under a landslide in China
Three men were buried under a landslide in China.
They're inside a car when it happened, and miraculously still have cell phone connection.
The first man made a phone call to the police:
"I'm a good citizen and husband, please come save us!"
The police tell him they will come for them in 24 hours
The second man made a phone call to the army:
"Comrade, I served the country as you do, please get me out of here!"
The soldier tell him they will come for them in 12 hours
The final man made a phone call to someone, and made a whisper which the other two man can't hear
Within an hour, the men were dug out and rescued
A group of police officer walks up to the weary men:
"Alright, which one of you said Taiwan is a country?"
A young lady starts a new job as a cashier in an adult novelties store.
The boss gives her the run through "We have white dildos for $10 and bigger black dildos for $20. Got it?" She says she does, and he leaves. Her first customer comes in and the new clerk explains the options available. She chooses the white model, pays and leaves. The second customer wanders in. The clerk goes over the options with her, she purchases the black model and is on her way. Her third customer, a little old Polish lady, comes in some time later. The clerk describes both options, but the new customer asks "How much for the big red one on the wall?" The clerk gently explains the difference between the white and black models, but the customer is adamant about the big red one. When the customer offers the clerk $100, she accepts it. The boss eventually returns and asks how the day went. The clerk replies "Good! I sold a while dildo for $10, a black dildo for $20 and your fire extinguisher for $100!"
A man and his wife are lying in bed when they hear a knock at the door.
The man hears that the wind is blowing a gail and the rain is is getting heavier and decides it was just the wind and goes back to sleep. A few minutes later they hear it again so his wife says "Honey, go check it out. It might be bad news" The man reluctantly agrees and goes to the front door in his bathrobe and slippers. He opens the door and says "What!" Before him stands a man soaked in rainwater who says "Please help me sir. I'm stuck and I need a push" "Fuck off" "Please I just need a push." The man slams the door and goes up to his wife. "What was that?" she asks. "Some guy who wanted me to give him a push because he was stuck. I left it." he replies. "My god" says the wife "You have a terrible memory. Remember Spain last year? That couple? The ones who, despite the fact we didn't know them, helped us change our tyre after we got a flat? Go help that man." So he puts on his robe goes back down opens the door, almost getting knocked over by the wind and sees nothing. He shouts "Where are you!? Where the fuck are you!? The guy that's stuck and needs a push!?" "I'm over here!" "Where!?" "Here! On the swings!"
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)