The other guys look at each other and say, "That's not bad mate, she charges us $100."
Thứ Sáu, 30 tháng 7, 2021
3 men appear at the heavens gate. Next to them an angel appears and starts asking them how they got there
The first one starts telling: “I came home early from a day of work. When I suddenly hear my wife scream upstairs. I rush upstairs and see her laying in bed very frightened.I was going to confront her later but first I needed to catch the bastard. I also see the window open and rush to it only to see a man lying on the garage roof. I thought that was the guy we needed so I grab the cabinet and throw it at him. I got the death sentence
The second guy tells the angle after that: “So I was fixing my motorcycle one day when I got tired. And decided to lie on the garage roof to rest a bit. Then I died.
The third guy speaks absolutely baffled: “so I know of absolutely nothing. I was peacefully sitting in a closet. But suddenly…
Thứ Năm, 29 tháng 7, 2021
A Harvard Law graduate starts first day on the job
The president of the firm says, “If you marry my daughter, I’ll make you a partner, give you an unlimited expense account, a new Mercedes, and a million dollar annual salary, in addition to your fees from the cases you take on.”
The guy says, “I don’t get it. Is something wrong with her?" The president shows him a picture, and she's hideous. The guy’s never seen anything like her.
The president says, "I know, she's tough to look at. I could never tell her to her face, though. Also, it’s only fair to let you know she’s as dumb as a stump."
The guy says, “Well, I don't care what you offer me, it ain't worth it.”
The president says, “I’ll give you a five million dollar salary, a new Mercedes every two years, and I’ll build you a mansion on Long Island.” The guy accepts, figuring he can put a bag over her head when they have sex.
About a year later, the guy buys an original Van Gogh and he’s about to hang it on the wall. He climbs the ladder and yells to his wife, “Bring me a hammer.”
She mumbles, “Get the hammer. Get the hammer,” and she brings it to him.
The guy says, “Get me some nails.”
She mumbles, “Get the nails. Get the nails,” and she brings them to him.
The guy starts hammering a nail into the wall, he hits his thumb, and he yells, “Fuck!”
She mumbles, “Get the bag. Get the bag.”
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