FunnyStory about animals and all around the world
Funny Video about animals and all around the world! :)
Funny picture about animals and all around the world :)
Play game and comfortable :)
Go to Blogger edit html and find these sentences.Now replace these sentences with your own descriptions.
Cell mate: (British Accent) Listen mate it’s going to happen, so let’s get this over and done with, would you like to do it with spit or without?
Guy: (Scared) What do you mean?
Cell mate: Would you like to do it with spit or without?
Guy: Well fuck, if I have to I guess I will do it with spit.
Cell Mate: Okay. (Yells) Hey spit he wants you in as well.
(Found This On a Podcast)
“Do you have a stutter?” asked the principal. The student answered, “No sir, but my dad has a stutter and the guy who registered my name was a real jerk.”
So USSR and the US finally go to nuclear was. They each fire a missile at each other to while the other out. The two missiles meet each other over half way to their destination.
"Comrade US missile", the USSR one says, "We are about to kill millions of people, let's stop and have a drink."
"That's a good idea", says the US missile. The USSR one pulls out a bottle of vodka and they have two tall ones for the ones they will kill.
"Comrade US missile", The USSR missile says again. "You know, from destruction come new beginnings. Let us drink to that."
"OK "says the US missile and they they have two more deep shots.
"Comrade US missile", the USSR missile says for the third time, "We are not going to make it either, let us drink to us"
The US missile starts drinking but stops. "I am sorry, but I just don't feel so good anymore"
"Do not worry Comrade. I will walk you home"
The first guy starts, “Y'all ain't got nothing on me! I can go to any bar and bring home a new woman every night! Not only that, but I drive a corvette and have an 8 inch penis! I've slept with more than 1,000 women!”
Second guy fires back, “Oh yeah? Well I’m a top gynecologist at the highest rated hospital in the world. I make $800,000 a year, have patients and nurses who have sex with me every hour I’m at work. All the women compliment me on my 12 inch penis and I've slept with well over 5,000 women.”
Last guy chuckles, “I have you all beat. I fucked over all the Redditors who were expecting a punchline to this joke.”
"Your Honor," the hunter said, "I had no idea that it was illegal to kill and eat a bald eagle. If you let me go, I'll never do it again."
"You've committed a very serious crime," the judge replies. "But you clearly weren't aware of the law, so I'm willing to overlook it this one time. However, before I let you go, I'm going to ask you to do one thing."
"Anything, Your Honor," the hunter replies. "What is it?"
The judge says, "It's been illegal to kill a protected species for many years, so very few people have ever eaten a bald eagle. For the record, can you please tell everyone what a bald eagle tastes like?"
The hunter thinks for a moment and then replies, "It tastes pretty good. Kind of like a cross between a spotted owl and a condor."
No one answered until little Mary stood up and said, “You should not be asking sixth-graders a question like that! I’m going to tell my parents, and they will go and tell the principal, who will then fire you!”
Mrs. Parks ignored her and asked the question again, “Which body part increases to 10 times its size when stimulated?”
Little Mary’s mouth fell open. Then she said to those around her, “Boy, is she going to get in big trouble!”
The teacher continued to ignore her and said to the class, “Anybody?”
Finally, Little Johnny stood up, looked around nervously, and said, “The body part that increases 10 times its size when stimulated is the pupil of the eye.”
Mrs. Parks said, “Very good, Johnny,” then turned to Mary and continued.
“As for you, young lady, I have three things to say: One, you have a dirty mind. Two, you didn’t read your homework. And three, one day you are going to be very, very disappointed.”