She could scream all she wants I was keeping the umbrella
Thứ Tư, 4 tháng 8, 2021
Americans, Canadians, and a lighthouse.
A US naval ship was arguing with Canadian authorities off the coast.
Said the Americans: “Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision.”
The Canadians responded: “Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.”
Americans: “This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.”
Canadians: “No, I say again, you divert YOUR course.”
At this point, the Americans really started to brag.
Americans: “THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS GEORGE WASHINGTON, THE LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES’ ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND MANY SUPPORT VESSELS. WE DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH, OR MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP.”
Canadians: “Guys, this a lighthouse. Your call.”
After the waters receded, Noah commanded all the animals to "Go forth and multiply!"...
The ark quickly emptied, except for two small snakes, who stayed behind.
When Noah asked them why, they replied, "We can't multiply. We're adders."
Noah, being the resourceful man he was, immediately got busy cutting down trees and building a large table with the unfinished lumber therefrom.
And he saw that it was good.
The snakes were overjoyed when Noah picked them up and placed them on it. Noah and the snakes both knew that even adders could multiply on a log table.
Thứ Ba, 3 tháng 8, 2021
So I was having sex with my girlfriend at her parent's house and we were really getting it on with her moaning and groaning which woke up her dad. We were really in the heat of it so we never noticed when he walked upstairs and then walked in on us.
"Dad!" my girlfriend exclaimed in a panic "I...I'm sorry"
The dad being, a dad, replies "Hi sorry, I'm Dad!"
He then turns to me and asks "Are you fucking sorry?"
Đăng ký:
Bài đăng (Atom)