A tire.
Thứ Hai, 9 tháng 8, 2021
Haven’t you ever seen a naked woman before?
A naked woman jumps into a taxi. The taxi driver stares at her, looking her over from top to bottom. The woman is offended and asks the taxi driver "What's the matter? Haven't you ever seen a naked woman before?"
The taxi driver responds: "Oh, it's not the fact that you're naked that bothers me."
"Then why are you looking at me that way?"
"Well, ma'am, I'm looking at you and thinking, 'where the hell is this lady keeping the money to pay for this ride?'"
Chủ Nhật, 8 tháng 8, 2021
Barack Obama walks into a bar, but he is invisible. After attracting the bartender’s attention, the bartender says "Ok, I'll bite. Why are you invisible?"
Obama says "Well, I found a bottle on the beach and...then I rubbed it." "And then...importantly...A genie came out." "The genie said I could have...3 wishes."
For my first wish, I said "Let me say this, and this is profoundly important...I want Michelle to marry me...I love her,...and I think America will love her too." That wish was granted.
For my second wish, I said "Like all patriotic Americans, I am deeply patriotic...and I want to be President...of the United States...so I can serve my country." That wish was granted too.
And then, for my third wish, I started by saying "Let me be clear..."
A guy walks into a bar…
He sits down on the stool and orders himself a drink. He notices in front of him a glass bowl full of $100 bills. He asks the bartender what that is about.
The bartender tells him “If you put $100 in this bowl I will give you three tests. If you pass all 3 tests you get to keep all the money.”
Guy: “what are the tests?”
Bartender: “first I line up 10 shots of homemade moonshine. Then you have to go in the back ally and remove a rotten tooth from a rabid dog’s mouth. Lastly, you have to go upstairs and satisfy a woman who was never satisfied before in her life”
Guy: “I’m in.”
The bartender lines up the shots and the guy successfully takes all 10. He heads out to the back ally and closes the door behind him. All of a sudden the bartender hears barking and yelling. Then screaming and screeching. Glass shattering. Dog is squealing. All of a sudden the guy opens the door and walks back in the bar. All bloodied and clothes ripped he asks the bartender: “ok…w-w-where is the lady with the rotten tooth?”
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