Iron Man stops the bad guys. Aluminum Man just foils their plans.
Thứ Hai, 23 tháng 8, 2021
A shipwrecked man washes up onto a deserted beach.
He meets a couple that's also stranded there. He and the wife immediately lock eyes and feel the chemistry for some genital bonding.
The Husband tells the Stranger: "hey man, see that tall coconut tree over there? We take turns all day climbing it to the top and seeing if any ships are approaching that could rescue us"
The Stranger replies: "Say no more friend. I'll take first watch!" and he swiftly climbs up the tree.
After a few minutes up top he shouts out: "hey guys! come on! Stop fucking down there! I can see you!"
The married couple, puzzled, shout back in reply: "what? We're not fucking!" The Stranger says: "Oh shit...my bad...it just really looks like it from up here."
Over the next three hours, the Stranger on top of the coconut tree repeats this multiple times...constantly asking the couple below to stop fucking. The couple exasperated, continue to deny any fucking.
Finally, he comes down and the Husband goes up the tree for his shift. The minute he goes up the Stranger and the Wife start fucking. The Husband on top of the coconut tree looks down and thinks to himself: "Goddamn it DOES look like they're fucking down there."
My friend was mad at me for smelling his sister's underwear.
I can't tell if it was because the rest of his family was there, or because they were still on her.
It sure made the rest of the funeral awkward.
Chủ Nhật, 22 tháng 8, 2021
Having gay parents must be horrible
Either you get twice the amount of dad jokes or get stuck in the infinite loop of 'ask your mom'
Whenever my wife is upset
Whenever my Wife is upset, I let her color in my black and white tattoos.
Sometimes she just needs a shoulder to crayon..
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