One glitters, the other glows
Thứ Bảy, 28 tháng 8, 2021
There is a new female organ player at a small church...
She is a beautiful woman, but there is a problem: her ample bosom is causing an issue with the men in the church. While playing the organ, her breasts bounce and sway. Men in the church are getting distracted and many get in trouble with their wives for gazing longingly at her.
An old woman comes up to the young lady and explains the situation. Heartbroken, the beautiful woman asks if anything can be done to remedy the situation. The old lady smiles and tells her to go to the store and buy some lemons. "Rub one lemon half on each breast every night before bed, your breasts will shrink but you'll be able to keep playing." The young woman, relieved, goes away and follows the old woman's advice.
The next week, after worship, the pastor steps up to the pulpit. He says,
"Due to thircumstanthes beyond my control, we won't be having a thermon thith week."
Religion is like a penis.
It’s fine to have one. It’s fine to be proud of it. But please don’t whip it out in public and start waving it around.
An Indian has a seat between two Pakistani's on board an airplane.
It's quite obvious to each of the three men know where they are from. The Indian asks, "Pardon me gentleman, you wouldn't mind me sitting between you to do you? This is my seat after all."
The Pakistani's look at each other, and then look back at him. One of them smiles and says, "Not at all! After all, Pakistani's and Indians are brothers! Are we not?"
The Indian is delighted at how warm and friendly they are and he takes his seat. Shortly the plane takes off and the three guys are just chilling until the Indian says, "You know its going to be a long ride and I am getting thirsty. Brothers, can I get any of you like a drink?" Then one of them says, "Yes brother, I would like a coke!"
The Indian slips off his shoes and walks barefoot to were the stewardess is at, and when the Indian is out of view, one of the Pakistani's spits into his shoe. The Indian comes back and gives him a coke.
Then the other Pakistani says, "you know what brother? I would also like a coke too!" The Indian happily obliges, and as soon as he is out of view, he also spits in his shoe before the Indian gives him a coke.
Finally, the Indian slips on his shoes and suddenly realizes how wet they are. He shakes his head and says, "Brothers! Why must we do this to each other, spitting in each others shoes and peeing in each others cokes?"
I just bought a racehorse.
I called it My Face and now I'm watching all the women in the crowd, who had a bet on it, as they scream "Come on my face".
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