She said no both times.
Thứ Hai, 6 tháng 9, 2021
It’s Mikes first day of prison.
He walks into his cell, and his cellmate is sitting on the edge of the bed shirtless.
“Listen, first thing you need to know is that this is going to happen. Your only choice is whether is happens with spit or without spit,” says the shirtless celly.
“Well, I don’t want this to happen at all, please don’t make me,” Mike pleads.
The shirtless man just looks at Mike and repeats himself “It can happen with spit or without spit.”
“Shit, ok well I guess with spit,” says Mike.
“Cool,” the celly says, and then calls out “HEY SPIT GET IN HERE HE SAID YOU CAN COME TOO.”
Barack Obama walks into a bar, but he is invisible. After attracting the bartender’s attention, the bartender says "Ok, I'll bite. Why are you invisible?"
Obama says "Well, I found a bottle on the beach and...then I rubbed it." "And then...importantly...A genie came out." "The genie said I could have...3 wishes."
For my first wish, I said "Let me say this, and this is profoundly important...I want Michelle to marry me...I love her,...and I think America will love her too." That wish was granted.
For my second wish, I said "Like all patriotic Americans, I am deeply patriotic...and I want to be President...of the United States...so I can serve my country." That wish was granted too.
And then, for my third wish, I started by saying "Let me be clear..."
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods.
An engineer and an anti-vaxxer were walking through the woods when they came upon a bridge across a crocodile infested river.
The anti-vaxxer asked the engineer "What are the odds of us making it across that bridge safely?" The engineer took out his calculator and his tape measure, did a structural analysis and said "99.97% chance we'll make it across that bridge safely.
The anti-vaxxer responded, without even thinking "Forget that, I'm swimming!"
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