The first sperm that reaches the egg is an ova achiever.
Thứ Ba, 7 tháng 9, 2021
Three Guys Were Sleeping Together On A Single Bed
One on the left wakes up and says i had a dream i was getting a handjob from a hot blonde
The Guy on the right says that's weird i had a similar dream but the only difference is the girl giving me a handjob was a brunette
The one in the middle says well i had a dream where i was Skiing!
Three men die and are standing in line at the pearly gates.
St. Peter tells them that the rules have changed, and they can only be let in to heaven now if they have had a really bad death. He then proceeds to get their stories one at a time.
The first man explains. "I live on the 25th floor of my apartment building. I came home from work early today, because I suspected my wife was cheating on me. There she was, naked as the day she was born. I look around, and spot two hands gripping the balcony. There's a man hanging from my balcony, in just his underwear, 25 floors above the ground! I step on the bastards fingers, he won't let go. I bite his fingers, he wouldn't let go. Finally I grab a hammer, that did the trick and he fell. But then the lucky bastard landed in some bushes and survived!! So I yanked the fridge loose, shoved it over the balcony, and it landed directly on the bastard! But I'm afraid all that exertion gave me a heart attack, so here I am."
St. Peter decided that was a bad enough death and let him in, then proceeded to get the second guys story. The man looked quite confused.
"I live on the 26th floor of my apartment building. I work the night shift, so I wake up in the early afternoon. I had just woken up, and was doing my exercises on my balcony when I slipped. But thank God, I caught the railing on the balcony below mine. I was saved! There I was, hanging 25 floors above the ground, when suddenly this crazy man came out screaming. He stepped on my fingers, I held on. He bit my fingers, I held on still. But then the bastard grabbed a hammer! I couldn't handle that and I let go. Just as I expected to die, I landed in some bushes and lived!! It was a miracle! As I started to thank God for letting me live, this fridge just falls out of the sky and lands on me. So here I am."
St. Peter decided that was definitely a bad death and lets him in. Then he asks the last guy for his story, this man also looked confused.
"Picture this: I'm hiding naked inside a fridge..."
Salesman
A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, only to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. "Good morning," said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners." "Go away!" said the old lady. "I haven't got any money." She proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty," he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, I will personally eat the remainder." "Well," she said, "I hope you have a damned good appetite, because the electricity was cut off this morning."
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