The Bartender decides he wants to impress the man with something creative. He grabs some cold-pressed mango juice from the refrigerator, squeezes in the juice from a small lemon, adds some ginger ale, and garnishes it with rosemary and an orange twist. Finally he adds the gin.
As the man finishes the drink, the Bartender asks "how did you like it?" and the man in the red hat dismissively says, "I liked the gin."
The Bartender is miffed that that was the only thing the man had to comment on, so he makes a new drink. He drops a spoon of peanut butter into a glass, adds black pepper, squeezes a portion of mustard, and splashes in some tap water to mix them together. Then he adds the gin and places it in front of the man. The man finishes the yellow-brown cloudy mess and the Bartender snarks, "did you still enjoy your drink?" And the man in the red hat says, "well it had gin in it, didn't it?"
Now the Bartender is pissed. He takes some water from the sink of dirty plates, he squirts in some dish soap too for good measure. He blends it together with some banana peels and chicken bones he found in the garbage, and puts the goo into a glass. Then he looks out the front of the bar and spots a dog shit sitting on the grass right outside the door. He walks out and scoops a tablespoonful of the dog shit. The Bartender then places the glass of goo in front of the man, looks him dead in the eye as he dumps the dog turd in, and carefully adds three drops of gin.
The man looks in horror at the dark sludge. He picks up the glass and drinks it with a visual grimace, then swallows.
The Bartender explodes, "I can't believe this, how did you train yourself to swallow literal dog shit just because it has a little bit of something you like?"
"Well you see," the man says as he places down the glass, "I'm a pro life Republican"
