'Captain, how did you get your peg leg?'
'Yarrr... Me ship sank. I was rescued, but not before a great white took me leg.'
'What about your hook hand?'
'Me ship was boarded. I repelled the bastards, but not before I lost me hand.'
'And what about your eye patch?'
'Yarrr... a bird shit in me eye.'
'I don't understand.... How did that cause you to lose an eye???'
'It was me first day with the hook!'
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