One of my 9th graders told me this joke. A guy was being investigated by the IRS...

A guy was being investigated by the IRS. After dodging the agent for weeks, his family convinced him to go get a lawyer and go talk to the irs agent.

The guy goes to see the lawyer and they ride together to the IRS office to see what the problem is.

The IRS agent meets the guy and tells him he has dozens of huge lumps of income with no taxes paid and no explanation. These were deposits of 1000, 5000, even 75000 dollars.

The guy listened and offered an explanation. “I make bets with people, and I tend to win”

The IRS agent found this very hard to believe. “You expect me to believe that? Someone make a 75 grand bet and paid it?”

The guy offered an example. “I’ll bet you a thousand bucks right now that I can bite my own eye”

The IRS agent thought to him self and accepted the bet. Thinking it was impossible.

So the guy took out his glass eye, bit it, and put it back in his head.

The IRS was shocked

The guy offered another bet. “You don’t know me and that was unfair. I’ll bet you 5 grand I can bite my other eye”

The IRS agent thought that would surely be impossible. He saw the man drive to his office with the lawyer. And he was the one driving. So he accepts the bet.

The guy then takes out his false teeth, bites his other eye and puts them back in his mouth.

The IRS agent was shocked.

The guy offered him a way to break even.

“I’ll bet you 6 thousand dollars I can pee into that coffee cup on your desk from across the room without getting a drop on the floor”

Thinking it’s impossible and wanting his money back he accepts again.

So the man stands against the far wall, gets ready to pee, and just end up peeing all over the agent’s carpet and chairs and walls. Only a drop landed in the cup.

The IRS agent was ecstatic. Jumping up and down, cheering, and just excited he didn’t owe this guy 6 grand anymore. Then he spots the lawyer in the corner. “Why do you look so upset? Your clients free to go. No more investigation.”

The lawyer gets up and says, “He be me 200 thousand dollars on the way here that he’d pee all over your office and you’d love it.”