"Oh shit"
"Na", says the Devil, "Don't listen to that Abraham fella, we actually have a lot of fun down here! Do you like bacon?"
"Of course"
"Well", continues the Devil, "You'll love Mondays then! Everybody gets a pallet of bacon and you eat until you can't eat anymore! The best part is, it doesn't matter if you have a heart attack 'cos you're already dead!"
"Hmm, I could get used to that"
"Great!", smiles the Devil, "Do you like gambling?"
"I'm partial to a bit of Blackjack, yea"
"Then I have some good news for you", explains the Devil, "Every Tuesday we go to the largest casino in the multiverse and you gamble until you can't gamble anymore! The best part is, it doesn't matter if you go bankrupt 'cos you're already dead!"
"OK, this is starting to sound pretty good"
"I knew you'd come 'round", replies the Devil, "Now, do you like drugs?"
"Yea I am a junkie"
"Fantastic!", exclaims the Devil, "You'll be looking forward to Wednesday! Everybody gets a great big bowl of smack and you smoke until you can't smoke anymore! The best part is, it doesn't matter if you overdose 'cos you're already dead!"
"Can this place get any better?"
"You bet!", replies the Devil, "Do you like sodomy?"
"Um...no"
"Oh", the Devil trails off, "Thursdays are going to be tough on you then".
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