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Thứ Năm, 27 tháng 11, 2014

A man is charged with a felony...


The man and his family are too poor to post bail. The man gets a letter from his father that reads:


"It is so unfortunate that you are in jail right now, every year at this time we used to turn the soil before winter so that we could plant and grow tomatoes next year. I don't think I'll be able to do it by myself but I will try my best.


Much love,


Father"


The man reads the message and immediately writes a response from jail:


"DON'T TURN THE SOIL IN OUR TOMATO PATCH!!!! It's where I buried the evidence!!!"


Two hours later a team of government investigators show up at the father's house stating that based on evidence scanned through the man's letter, there are reasonable ground to search the tomato patch for evidence. The investigators dig up the entire patch... But find nothing. They apologize to the father and leave. The man sees the investigation come back and writes to his father:


"Looks like we'll be having tomatoes next year after all!"



Well, that's one way of using them

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"Drums good, drums okay." x-post from /r/Bass


An explorer is deep in the jungle, in a corner of the earth never before seen by civilized man. Suddenly, he hears drums in the distance. He turns to his faithful native guide and asks what the drums mean.


"No worry, no worry," says the guide, "drums good, drums okay."


The explorer, trusting his guide, continues on through the jungle. The drums get louder and closer as darkness falls, and they set to make camp. "Are you sure this is safe, making camp with those drums so close by?" says the explorer.


"No worry, no worry," says the guide, "drums good, drums okay."


So they make a little fire, and eat something. The explorer is uneasy about sleeping, with that strange drumming nearby. He is about to ask his guide once again for reassurance, when, as suddenly as they began, the drums stop. The guide freezes, a look of terror on his face. "What? What is it?" whispers the explorer, "Is it bad that the drums stopped?"


"Drums good, drums okay," said the guide, "But drums stop, that bad. Very bad, what come next, if drums stop."


"What? Tell me! What is it that comes after the drums stop?!?"


"Bass solo."



Have you ever been so mad you cried in Spanish?

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Everyone in the left lane has seen Final Destination

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My motto

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Came home. This is not my cat. We were both surprised.

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