Even the woofs love them some sun!
Thứ Tư, 30 tháng 9, 2015
This Baby Wallaby Is The CUTEST THING YOU WILL EVER SEE!
YES I AM SHOUTING BECAUSE THIS IS SO IMPORTANT.
You may or may not have already seen this video of a TEENY TINY BABY WALLABY EATING HIS TEENY TINY DINNER OMG.
Either way, you're in luck, because Scotty the Wallaby (!!) has his own Facebook page filled with THE MOST ADORABLE IMAGES AND VIDEOS YOU WILL EVER SEE IN YOUR LIFE.
JUST LOOK AT THIS LITTLE GUY!
Facebook: exceptional.kangarooisland
LOOK AT HIM IN HIS LI'L POUCH!
I had a job interview...
...the interviewer slid his laptop across the table and said "sell this to me."
I closed the screen, unplugged it, and left.
I ignored his calls for about three hours. When I did answer, he said "Where is my laptop?!"
"You wanna buy it?"
Monks had it all wrong
A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks in copying the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, and not the original books.
So, the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there was an error in the first copy, that error would be continued in all of the other copies. The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son."
So, he goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original. Hours later, nobody has seen him. So, one of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books crying. He asks what's wrong.
"The word is celebrate, not celibate!," says the old monk with tears in his eyes.
NSFW Nearly humped a ladyboy
In Thailand and man it was so close, she looked like a lady, walked like a lady, talked like a lady, kissed like a lady.. It was only when she drove me home and reversed perfectly into my drive 1st time, I thought to myself, "hang on a fuckin minute"!
So this guy is driving down the street and sees a woman with some big ol titties!
He says to himself, "I must have those in my mouth!"
He told his driver to pull over and he told her he would give her a hundred dollars to let him bite her nipples...
She replied, "what! You're gross get away"
He then said "I'll give you a thousand dollars to let Me bite your nipple!"
"I told you to get away creep!" She said
"Final offer, I'll give you a MILLION dollars to let me bite your nipple!" He yelled
After a second of deliberation.... She reluctantly accepts.
They go to back alley and she takes off her top. The man starts rubbing her titties & sucking her nipples.
"Well aren't you gonna bite my nipple?!?!" She shouts
"Naw that cost too much"
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