It never gets old.
Thứ Bảy, 16 tháng 4, 2016
A guy walks into a bookstore...
A guy walks into a bookstore and asks the assistant, "Hey, do you know if you guys have the new book for guys with short penises?"
The assistant says, "I'm not sure if it's in yet."
Guy says, "Yeah, that's the one!"
First day on the job
A taxi passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, goes up on the footpath, and stops centimeters from a shop window.
For a second, everything goes quiet in the cab, then the driver says, "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"
The passenger apologizes and says, "I didn't realize that a little tap would scare you so much.”
The driver replies, "Sorry, it's not really your fault. Today is my first day as a cab driver, but I've been a hearse driver for the last 25 years!"
An Asylum Tour
A benefactor by the name of John is touring an asylum to see how it is being ran. Occasionally, he sees an unusual patient and stops to talk.
The first man he comes across is grabbing the sides of his head and making a marked twisting motion. Concerned, John asks him what he's doing. Well, sir, the patient says "I'm trying to get my head screwed on tight so I can get the fuck out of here."
The second patient, upon seeing John, sudden pulls down his pants and shits in his hands. He then proceeds to mold it into a cube. He looks at John, and without prompting, says he is 'getting his shit together so he can get the fuck out of there'.
Surprised, John moves on until he sees a young man with his dick in a bag of peanuts. Unnerved, he asks the young man why he's doing this. "Well, gosh, sir. I'm fucking nuts and I'm never gonna get out of here."
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